Friday, December 03, 2004


Pre-Birthday Thoughts

My birthday will be here in four days and I will turn 22 years old. I did a lot of thinking about what happened to me in my 21 years of existence in this world. Let's see. There are a lot of incredible things happened to me that I wish I could hold on and some things that I wish I could erase from my memory. Where should I start?

1)I was born in Myanmar, formerly known as Burma in Dec 8th, 1982. I went to a school named TTC(stands for Teachers Training Center). TTC follows the pattern fixed by our military/Socialist government. We memorized everything that teacher said and asking questions is not allowed. No one is allowed to think outside the box and there is no room to exercise our minds.

2)After my 8th grade, I moved to a tiny island in Micronesia called Chuuk where my father worked as a dentist in 1997. There, I spent three years at a Catholic School named Saramen Chuuk Academy. There, I experienced loneliness at the most extreme form. I'll explain. I was the only Buddhist student who was from Burma. And further more, there was a church built right inside the school compound and despite what I believe in, I had to go to sermons, pray, sing "I love God' songs, participated in confessions, etc. I remembered how I was desparate to make friends at any cost no matter how much I was taken advantage of. There, I learned to eat with my hands, ate spam for the first time, cleaned disguesting bathrooms, did push ups in scorching sun, having my lunch robbed every recess. As you can see, I didn't really have a great time there.

3)Then in 2000, my father again moved to another tiny island called Pohnpei in Micronesia. I was 17 and in the middle of my junior year in highschool. We moved around a couple of houses there and then finally settled down. I found myself at a school named SDA (Seventh Day Adventist)and in the middle of a school where all the students are Adventists and the teachers being young college students from the mainland. There were a few handful of internatinal students from Korea, Japan, Bangladesh and me, from Burma. I felt comfortable and enjoyed staying at a much more open minded school. Then I graduated.

4)I applied to a couple of schools in the mainland. I was accepted at the University of Hawaii at Hilo. My first major was Computer Science, simply because my parents think it's a nice major and thought that their child who had no experience in math and science will excel in that subject and will eventually make them a lot of money. Off I went to start my freshmen year on the Big Island of Hawaii for the first time away from home alone.

5)I discovered again that I was the only student from Burma in Hilo, HI. Not to worry. I have also discovered my first boyfriend and fell deeply in love. From then on, I couldn't concentrate anything. I had my first kiss, first night out, first 'I love you'. I spent a lot of time with him and I got to know his friends which one of them is from Burma. A 50 year old named Mya and 18 year old named Lucas who are business partners. We hanged out from time to time.

6)I discoverd that Sunny is not a virgin. He lives with his father who is a disabled hippie. He has a mother who he hadn't met since he was a teenager. He lives with his sister named Lavendar who frequently got into trouble at school. He has 18 cats and two dogs. He lives in a deep, deep forest in a small blue house that is 20 miles from his school. Sunny likes to be mysterious, aloof, untouchable, and serious. His major is Astronomy. He loves nature. He's also white and smokes weed to treat his dyslexia.

7) Are you starting to see the difference between me and Sunny? Surprisingly, we tolerated each other's differences so well that our relationship lasted for over two years. We said 'I love you' and meant it. We thought we will be together forever. It was truly a bliss living in paradise with someone you love. We broke up once due to misunderstandings and lack of communication effort. We eventually got back together stronger than ever.

8)Great news! Exgirlfriend of Sunny's father decided to move in because her exlover was trying to kill her and she needed a hiding place. Sunny's father was thrilled. He was always in love with her. Sunny couldn't be happier since she is his dear friend as well. That lovely lady name is Maggie Klein. She also had a six year son named Tyler. Despite her insanity and bad temper, Sunny and his father adored her.

9)I was forced to move in with Sunny and his family since they promised me the world that they are the perfect family for me. Plus they told me that I should keep my word. I said ,'huh'? What word? "Oh, remember you said two years ago to Sunny that you never want to go back to your parents" was the reply. I didn't even remember I said that! Besides, that was what people would say if they are upset with their parents sometimes and now they were telling me I must honor what I said and move in with them? There's something really wrong here.

10)So I moved in. It lasted about a week. When Maggie Klein showed her true colors and assaulted me. Sunny chose to stand by his family and watched me get hurt. I couldn't believe that I abandoned my parents for him. I realized that Sunny didn't care about me at all. All he cared about is himself and his family. Not me. He got what he wanted from me so he thought he should move on. I should have known. Sunny Stewart further spreads lies about me and turns people against me. There is no words to express my outrage for this. When someone you love turned into a monster like Sunny Stewart, you can't help but rethink about falling in love ever again.

Next week: Lies by Sunny Stewart.


Winds at 60 mph

It was pretty windy today as I walked up to the bus stop. My hair was completely messed up and I'm glad I was wearing long pants. While other parts of the world are reaching below 0 degrees temprature, Honolulu remains as sunny as ever but with fierce winds speeding up to 60mph. Finals are coming up in a few weeks and I feel entirely unprepared. Two four-page essays to write this weekend. Plus applying for the internship this summer. News of increasing tuition. Making the tough decision of finding the right graduate school. It's all here in the holiday season.

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